


Thorns around your heart

by Vintervittran



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bllb AU, How Do I Tag, M/M, St. Agnes, dead Dream Ronan, pynch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-09 03:05:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12267576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vintervittran/pseuds/Vintervittran
Summary: Bllb AU, set after the church scene, where Ronan sees Adams father leave St Agnes with blood on his hand…





	Thorns around your heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Before I start I would just like to say a few things: 
> 
> 1\. English is not my native language so I apologize in advantage for any mistakes I may have made. Feel free to give me feedback on the language, I would love to improve my writing! 
> 
> 2\. This is the first fanfic I ever post, and I’m equally scared and excited. If you like it please give a kudo and/or a comment, it would mean the world to me! <3

Ronan Lynch was used to nightmares. He was used to when his nightmares tried to kill him, even if that didn´t happen as frequently now as before. He was used to taking horrible things with him when he woke from a nightmare. Hell, he was even used to take things out of his dreams with Adam in the room, after all their evenings spent dreaming and scrying at the Barns. However, he was _not_ used to waking up from a dream only to find Adam leaning over a dying Dream Ronan with a face flashing with so many emotions – _panic, guilt, horror, guilt, sadness, guilt, grief_ – that Ronan couldn’t stand to look at him. The horrors of his dream were still terribly fresh in his mind and the heart-breaking tremble in Adams voice as he said Ronans name wasn’t helping. When Ronan spoke, the horror and poison of the dream leaked in to his voice and made it come out as a snarl. Adam startled and looked up, staring at Ronan with huge blue eyes.

Ronan didn’t know what he wanted most, for Adam to go away or for him stay. He was desperate to be alone so he didn’t have to look at Adams face and shaking hand as he looked from Ronan, to Dream Ronan to the envelope and back again, looking so damn lost that it broke Ronans heart. But at the same time, he longed to be close to Adam. To wrap his arms around him and feel the calming, safe warmth of a living body until he could no longer feel the horrors of his dream. But he knew that that was not a real option.

So Ronan Lynch did what Ronan Lynch did best – he put up all his walls around his heart and filled his voice with poison as he spoke. He threw cruel words at Adam until he finally left, leaving Ronan feeling broken and lonely and angry at the whole god damned world (and most, as always, at himself).

***

Ronan had no idea how long he sat there in the church with his own dead body in front of him, images from the nightmare flashing in his mind and Adams cold voice as he left stuck in his heart.

_Next time you can die alone._

Finally, he got up and started to clean up the mess his dream-self had made. He carried the mutilated body out thru a side door and dumped it in the BMW’s trunk. Luckily, he had parked at the very end of the parking lot, his father’s black dream car almost invisible in the shadows, so even if someone had been close by they probably couldn’t see him. Ronan was not in the mod for someone spotting him with a dead body right now. Especially not his _own_ dead body.

The door that lead to Adams tiny apartment where suddenly thrown open and Ronan felt a stupid rush of hope. Maybe Adam was coming back? But no, the man who slammed the door and angrily muttered curses as he stomped toward a car Ronan hadn’t noticed earlier, was not Adam. It was Robert Parrish. A blinding furry washed through Ronan. There wasn’t word strong enough to express how much he hated that monster of a man. Without thinking Ronan took a step forward, the only thing he could focus on was his burning hatred. But then he froze as he saw the hand Robert Parrish lifted to open the door to his shitty car. His right hand had dark stains on it that looked like…

Fear hit Ronan, mixing with his anger, paralysed him, and suddenly all he could think of was Adam. Adam, alone in his shitty apartment. Adam, alone because Ronan had driven him away. Adam, meeting his father alone. Adam, as he had looked lying on the ground in front of the trailer, unable to stand as his father approached. And blood. Blood on Robert Parrish hand as he left Adams apartment. If he had hurt Adam again Ronan would… He was finally able to move again and rushed toward the church. Robert Parrish car had already drove out of the parking lot but Ronan didn’t care. He threw the door open and took two steps at a time as he climbed the stairs.

“Parrish?”

There was no answer.

“Parrish?!”

Still no answer. Ronan felt the panic rise inside him and as soon as he reached the top of the stairs he flung Adams door ( _his unlocked door. Why was it unlocked? Adam always locked his door_ ) open. And stood face to face with Adam.

***

“The fuck, Parrish? Wha...” Ronan cut himself of midsentence and starred at Adam. He didn’t look like he was physically hurt but his eyes…

Adams eyes was empty, like he was scrying. He stared right at Ronan but it was clear that he didn’t see him.

“Parrish?” Ronan took a step toward Adam but quickly retreated when he felt a sharp sting on his right arm. “What the FUCK?”

A thorn had cut his arm. A fucking _thorn_. And now that Ronan looked away for Adams face he could see thin branches covered in long sharp thorns twist around Adams arms, torso, legs. _The FUCK?_ Some of the smaller branches lashed toward Ronan, warning him to come closer. Protecting Adam. Protecting Adam…And suddenly, Ronan understood. _Cabeswater_. Of course.

“Cabeswater? It’s me, the Greywaren” Ronan took a careful step to Adam again and tried to make his voice calming, as if Adam was a wild animal. The branches lashed at him, but didn’t touch him this time. “It’s me. Parrish? Parrish? It’s only me. He’s gone. You’re safe. Adam?”

The branches started to retreat, disappearing throw the floor as if they’d never been there. Adam blinked. He blinked again and even if his face was still empty, his eyes focused on Ronan.

“Ronan?”

Then he collapsed.

***

Before Adams body could hit the floor, Ronan took the final step that separated the two boys, and caught him. Adam was completely limp in his arms and Ronan felt the panic return in full force.

“Parrish??” No reaction. But he breathed. He was alive at least. Ronan carried him to the opposite end of the small room and gently lay him down at the way too thin mattress. He kneeled beside the mattress and took one of Adams beautiful hands in his. He searched for a pulse and for a terrible moment, he couldn’t find it. Then he felt a weak beat against his finger and Ronan could breathe again.

Ronan started talking. He mumbled nonsense words of safety, voice low and soft, in the same way he would do to calm Matthew or a frightened animal. Adam relaxed as he spoke and his pulse becoming stronger under Ronans fingers.

Because he was weak and his walls were down, Ronan couldn’t resist the impulse to lift his hand to Adams face and gently brush the dust brown hair from his forehead. Adam turned his head against Ronans hand and his face went from blank to exhausted.

“Lynch?” He tried to open his eyes but seamed too tired to get the eyelids to cooperate.

“Yeah, shithead, it’s me. Now rest, you idiot, you look like you need it” Ronans voice was reassuring and soft, there was no real sting behind the words.

Adam sighed and curled up on his side, his usual sleeping position ( _not that Ronan had noticed the way Adam slept. He had not spent all those nights at the apartment floor looking at Adam. Really_ ).

“Ronan,” the name came out as another sigh and within a few seconds, Adam slept. His face was completely relaxed, as it only ever got in sleep. Ronan hadn’t realised that there was a difference between a completely relaxed face and a blank one, but as he looked at Adams sleeping face and remembered the blank look he had worn when Ronan first entered the apartment, he saw the difference.

He sat like that all night. Watching Adam sleep, fingers around his wrist to make sure his pulse was still normal. It wasn’t until dawn came, and Adam started to stir and move as he did just before he woke up ( _again, not that Ronan had noticed_ ), that Ronan let go of Adams wrist. He stood up, walked to the door, slipped out of the apartment and returned to the BMW – where his dead body still waited to be buried.


End file.
